I remember reading one of comedian Chelsea Handler’s memoirs during one high school summer, and her saying, through a story of a dinner party, that people who say “I’m the type of person who…” or, “I’m not the type of person who..” are usually the exact opposite of what they’re saying. I found it insightful and funny, and it made me more aware of when I say it—and also when other people say it.
I played these games with myself throughout heavier times of quarantine to stretch my brain or whatever a little, like eating with my non-dominant hand in attempt to become more ambidextrous (it’s kind of working!). One of them was to put a moratorium on “I am” phrases. Like, what would happen to my sense of identity and self, as well as my habits and thoughts, if I wasn’t labeling myself based on past patterns and expectations dragged in from the past, and just let myself be? Honestly, it felt very freeing!
In fact, I may try this again today. And this time, I think I’ll play with extending it more to those around me. Like how may people show up, what may our interactions be, when it’s just us in that moment, rather than past ideas or conceptions of them? Of us?